Enjoying Your Kitchen Party on Your Wedding Day

Enjoying Kitchen Party on your Wedding Day

This post is about Healthy Lifestyles – How to Enjoy Your Kitchen Party on Your Wedding Day. Many brides-to-be in the African context value kitchen parties as much as the wedding ceremony itself. It is a dream come true as the future bride enjoys the attention of many “unlucky” and “lucky” women in the presence of her future bridegroom and his escorts.

WHY “UNLUCKY?”

Some ladies consider themselves unlucky when they get advanced in years without securing a life partner. Therefore, they are envious during such occasions as kitchen parties as they admire those who have found a life partner to go through with the celebration of a kitchen party and a wedding ceremony. They regard them as being “lucky” especially if they have secured their partners before the age of thirty.

WHAT IS A KITCHEN PARTY?

In the African context, a kitchen party is referred to as an occasion when the parents of the bride-to-be invites many groups of women or individual women to attend the kitchen party as witnesses that their daughter has been counseled for her marriage preparation. The invited guests do not attend empty-handed but carry a gift for the bride-to-be.

Bride enjoying beautiful thoughts about the kitchen Party

IMPORTANCE OF THE GIFT TO THE BRIDE-TO-BE

The traditional African belief to help one to start her home on a good financial stand is upheld highly during such a ceremony. Therefore, people are invited to the kitchen party to specify what kinds of gifts are expected to be presented to the bride-to-be. The gift may be in monetary form equivalent to the desired gift or the gift itself.

VARIETY OF GIFTSSome Kitchen Party Gifts

Mostly the function is called a “kitchen party” because the items or gifts that are presented go towards helping to furnish the kitchen or even replace the old furniture or equipment that may be there. It may be a cooker, refrigerator or deep freezer. It may be a kitchen table and some chairs or even posts, sauce pans, plates and glasses.

WHY HAVE THE BRIDEGROOM-TO-BE IN ATTENDANCE?

Previously it was considered a taboo to have any man attend the proceedings of the kitchen party. In other words, it was a no go area for any man: father of the lady or her fiancé or any of their representatives. However, such a stance was abandoned when some parents started cheating about their daughter’s engagement and amassed all the gifts and money only to tell the people they had invited that the engagement had been broken off.

PREVIOUS ACTIVITIES LEADING TO THE KITCHEN PARTY

To be wedded

Nowadays it is common to see the bridegroom-to-be agree with the wife-to-be when to send a representative to the parents of the lady to declare publicly that his intentions towards the lady were serious enough to lead towards their marriage ceremony. The date would be set and before the appearance of the representative, the lady’s parents will have informed the closest family members of both sides to be present and witness the procedure.

REPRESENTATIVE ESCORTS THE BRIDEGROOM-TO-BE WITH TWO SPECIAL PLATES

It is a taboo for the bridegroom-to-be to go to the house of the bride-to-be without an elderly person as a representative. The latter becomes the spokesperson of the bridegroom-to-be. The two special plates contain an amount of money that remains in the house as a declaration that as long as the plates remain in that house, parents of the lady should not accept any other man apart from the one who brought the special plates.

ANOTHER ROLE OF THE REPRESENTATIVE

Apart from presenting the special plates of the bridegroom-to-be to the lady’s parents, the representative’s role is to introduce the bridegroom-to-be to the parents. Additionally, he is the same one to conduct marriage counseling sessions to the bridegroom-to-be. If he is not in the position to do so, he will help the bridegroom-to-be to find other marriage counselors.

After Marriage counselling

BEFORE THE SPECIAL PLATES REMAIN IN THE HOUSE

Before the special plates remain in the house, the lady is brought to come and identify the people who have brought them. If she says she is aware of the special visitors and is agreeable to the plates remaining in the house, the visitors are dismissed with courtesy.

DISCUSSION AFTER THE SPECIAL PLATES REMAIN IN THE HOUSE OF THE LADY

After having got detailed information about their future-in-law, a detailed discussion takes place to decide whether the gentleman would be their rightful son-in-law or not. If yes, how much should be charged as “lobola” or bride price. By the way, the economic status of the bridegroom-to-be determines the amount of the bride price. The richer the person is, the higher the bride price. Some tribes charge in form of cattle while others will accept money equivalent to the number of cattle charged.

THE SECOND VISIT OF THE REPRESENTATIVE

Having been informed to return to the house of the lady after a short period, usually three days to one week, the representative of the bridegroom goes back to hear the details of acceptance or rejection of the bridegroom-to-be by returning the special plates.

BARGAINING OF THE BRIDE PRICE

If you have a “clever” go-between or representative of the bridegroom-to-be, he shall pull down the bride price charged by half or so. Actually, a lady who has been educated to master degree level will fetch a higher bride price than the lady with a degree. A degree holder will also fetch higher bride price than a diploma holder and so on and so on. It is up to the go-between to negotiate that men who have good intentions of marriage are rare and that much respect need to be accorded to them because of that.

Kind of Marriage Ceremony

WHAT KIND OF MARRIAGE CEREMONY?

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Again the kind of marriage ceremony shall be determined according to the financial muscle of the bridegroom-to-be as he is going to shoulder the major expenses. Sometimes the lady might come from a well-to-do family and are willing to sponsor the wedding for the sake of their prestige in the community.

WHAT KIND OF KITCHEN PARTY WILL TAKE PLACE?

The kind of kitchen party to take place determines the financial powers of both sides and one of the sides whether female or male. It is the kind of function the ladies do not want to miss. The function requires a good amount of money Wealthy Affiliate can prepare you adequately to creating an online business that can adequately satisfy a flamboyant kitchen party ceremony that everyone can admire. You can find out by clicking here. That is how you can enjoy your kitchen party on your wedding day if it takes place before going to the reception.

HOW POSSIBLE IS THAT?

Have your kitchen party scheduled between church marriage ceremony and the wedding reception on the same day. You reduce greatly the amount of time spent at the kitchen party by arranging people bringing gifts in groups instead of individual presentation of gifts. Remember, the Wealthy Affiliate community can make it possible to enjoy your own kitchen party or sponsor your daughter’s kitchen party. You can join freely here and you shall never regret your decision.

The Authormatongejoseph@yahoo.com

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some links in the post above may be “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission without any additional cost to you. However, you should know that I only recommend products or services I believe will add value to you, my esteemed readers. Moreover, I would really appreciate it if you left a comment or question below. I will try my best to give you honest answers. Or is there any topic you may want me to write about? Leave it below and I shall do my best about it.



3 thoughts on “Enjoying Your Kitchen Party on Your Wedding Day”

  1. I am along side you Joseph in your plea to your countrymen and fellow Africans to get business involvement on the internet.  I would not, before I read your post thought if someone told me how great your site is.  But it is great.

    I loved reading about the marriage protocol and societal observations and expectation.  Further the imagery of the ladies showing the family of the bride what has been cooked.  The kitchen party is entertaining I am sure but lends to the authenticity in the intent to marry.  

    I thoroughly enjoyed your About page and the invitation to your family, friends and neighbors.  You come across there as engaging and genuine in your communication.  Thank you very mush for this glimpse into your culture.  Chris.    

    Reply
    • Hi Chris, 

      I am happy that you enjoyed reading the article and I wish to thank you for liking my site. It is also good to hear that you have enjoyed the culture of “Chilanga Mulilo” before the marriage ceremony. I hope you can witness such an event as you travel for leisure. Good luck.

      Joseph

      Reply
  2. Very nicely done and written. I find culture such as this fascinating. We have in our country abandoned all such customs as societal norms and expectations have given way to we will do as we please.
    To hear the work taboo is a couple generations behind us here I am afraid. Anyway, I like hearing about your country and the ceremonious approach to what is the biggest decision a woman and a man can make.
    Thank you for the warm look into African Culture. Chris.

    Reply

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